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alt="優(yōu)秀作文：?jiǎn)柡驄寢?/></p><p>　　266605 山東萊西孫受中學(xué) 王煥煥</p><p>　　又是一周沒(méi)有回家了，想家的思緒不可遏止地飄來(lái)。對(duì)了，上回臨走的時(shí)候，媽媽得了重感冒，頭疼得厲害，不知現(xiàn)在好沒(méi)好，趁著課間趕緊打個(gè)電話問(wèn)候一聲吧。學(xué)校離家很遠(yuǎn)，也只能打個(gè)電話了。</p><p>　　“喂，老媽！我歡歡，你在家呢？”</p><p>　　“嗯，出啥事啦？”聽(tīng)到我的聲音，媽媽濃重的鼻音里充滿了欣喜。</p><p>　　“沒(méi)啥事，就是有點(diǎn)想家……”</p><p>　　“你聲音變了！感冒了吧？你看看，早就讓你注意點(diǎn)。趕緊吃藥！”媽媽打斷我的話，語(yǔ)氣里既是責(zé)備又是緊張。</p><p>　　“沒(méi)事，沒(méi)啥事�！�</p><p>　　“嘴硬！還沒(méi)事？有事就晚了！天涼了，多穿衣服，穿厚點(diǎn)。就穿你去年秋天買(mǎi)的那件紅外套吧，就是你把袖口磨破了，我給繡上一只蝴蝶的那件。記著沒(méi)？你還說(shuō)不好看，那有啥呀，能穿就行唄，管什么好看不好看的！咱家比不了別家，要比就比學(xué)習(xí)，你可千萬(wàn)爭(zhēng)氣呀！”</p><p>　　“我……我會(huì)的……”我心里酸酸的。</p><p>　　“你還穿那雙綠涼鞋嗎？別穿了，都啥時(shí)候了，防感冒先把腳穿暖了。穿那雙新買(mǎi)的鞋子吧。還有，晚上用熱水泡泡腳，電視上說(shuō)有好處，記著沒(méi)？”</p><p>　　“我知道，我馬上買(mǎi)藥去�！�</p><p>　　“知道吃啥藥嗎？就吃那個(gè)阿……阿什么來(lái)著？”</p><p>　　“阿莫西林�！�</p><p>　　“對(duì)！阿莫西林。你一感冒嗓子就發(fā)炎，趕緊吃上。還有那個(gè)牛黃……牛黃解毒丸吧，一起吃。記著藥要飯后吃，才不傷胃，啊！打點(diǎn)開(kāi)水，你不是有暖瓶嗎？倒杯子里晾一下，涼了再喝，別燙著。也別喝涼水，壞肚子，啊！買(mǎi)藥的時(shí)候看一下日期，別買(mǎi)過(guò)期的。你在聽(tīng)著吧？晚上睡覺(jué)時(shí)蓋好被子，你睡覺(jué)不老實(shí)，老愛(ài)蹬被子。對(duì)了，天氣預(yù)報(bào)說(shuō)這兩天還有雨，你別東跑西顛的，你挨雨澆感冒也不是一次兩次了！哎，你記住了嗎？”</p><p>　　“記著呢。”</p><p>　　“行了，有事再打電話吧。放假我給你做好吃的，饞丫頭！行了……”</p><p>　　放下電話。哎呀，我忘了問(wèn)媽媽感冒好了沒(méi)！</p><p>　　簡(jiǎn)譯</p><p>　　本文在寫(xiě)作中運(yùn)用了錯(cuò)位法，讓文章產(chǎn)生極好的表達(dá)效果。錯(cuò)位，顧名思義，就是位置的互錯(cuò)。比如按照計(jì)劃，應(yīng)該得到某種結(jié)果，可是最后出現(xiàn)的'結(jié)果卻不是我們預(yù)先想到的那種。用錯(cuò)位法寫(xiě)文章，就有了波瀾，而且這種波瀾會(huì)產(chǎn)生極大的趣味。</p><p>　　文章標(biāo)題是問(wèn)候媽媽，應(yīng)寫(xiě)“我”對(duì)媽媽的關(guān)心，主旨卻是母愛(ài)，感情流向發(fā)生了錯(cuò)位，主觀上的“問(wèn)候媽媽”倒錯(cuò)為客觀上的“媽媽關(guān)心我”，讓媽媽對(duì)“我”的關(guān)心占據(jù)主要篇幅。目的與結(jié)果發(fā)生倒錯(cuò)，更能突出媽媽對(duì)“我”的愛(ài)。這種錯(cuò)位，使得文章亮點(diǎn)頓生，陡然出奇。</p><p>　�。ㄍ鹾Ｑ嗬蠋� 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