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<div id="z0af1ib824t" class="article"> <script type="text/javascript">s("title_top");</script> <h1 class="title">因?yàn)閻畚覀儾艜г姑牢?/h1> <div id="z0af1ib824t" class="info"> <span id="z0af1ib824t" class="time">時間：2021-06-16 20:16:09 </span> <span id="z0af1ib824t" class="sm_after_time"></span> <span id="z0af1ib824t" class="source"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.buyample.com/jingdianmeiwen/" title="經(jīng)典美文">經(jīng)典美文</a></span> <span id="z0af1ib824t" class="source"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.buyample.com/usr/login.html" title="我要投稿">我要投稿</a></span> </div> <script type="text/javascript">s("content_top");</script> <div id="z0af1ib824t" class="content"> <div id="z0af1ib824t" class="excellent_articles_box"><ul> <li id="z0af1ib824t" class="excellent_articles_row"> <a target="_blank" title="《不抱怨的世界》讀后感" href="http://www.buyample.com/word/bubaoyuandeshijie.html"> <em></em> <span id="z0af1ib824t" class="excellent_title">《不抱怨的世界》讀后感</span> <span id="z0af1ib824t" 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alt="因?yàn)閻畚覀儾艜г姑牢?/></p><p>　　人們對“抱怨”的評價不完全是錯的。如果沒有學(xué)會有效的抱怨方式，沒有從抱怨聲中聽到愛的語言，也沒有正確地處理抱怨，那么抱怨就真的會變成橫隔在親密關(guān)系里的屏障，把兩顆心隔開。</p><p>　　但我們也要看到抱怨積極的一面，既然它那么頻繁地出現(xiàn)在日常生活中，就一定有它存在的價值。</p><p>　　原生家庭，生活經(jīng)歷，生物性別，氣質(zhì)性格……人和人之間的`諸多差異是顯而易見的。這使得即便是非常相愛的兩個人，在日常生活的點(diǎn)滴相處中，也會遇到種種的矛盾和沖突。所以每一對伴侶都要經(jīng)歷艱難的感情磨合期，最后才能找到適合兩個人的相處模式。</p><p>　　在尋找矛盾的解決之道時，溝通是必不可少的環(huán)節(jié)。此時問題就來了，如果沒有體驗(yàn)到情感上的不滿足，沒有感覺到外在現(xiàn)實(shí)和內(nèi)心期望的沖突，也就不存在矛盾一說了�？梢坏┯辛嗣�，抱怨自然就會隨之而來。</p><p>　　假設(shè)人們在體驗(yàn)到不滿足時，選擇忽略、轉(zhuǎn)移、替代、隱忍等對關(guān)系有害的方式去處理，而不是去和伴侶溝通，那么這段關(guān)系就很難達(dá)到親密，難以深入和穩(wěn)固。</p><p>　　所以，人們應(yīng)該歡迎伴侶的抱怨，因?yàn)槟且馕吨谂Φ乇磉_(dá)自己的真實(shí)想法、感覺和期待。如果這些抱怨能夠被認(rèn)真對待，同時被有效地處理，那么抱怨就會變成伴侶關(guān)系的加油站，而非絆腳石。</p><p>　　伴侶之間為什么會有抱怨？簡單來說，是因?yàn)槠诖龥]有被滿足。</p><p>　　比如我期待丈夫可以多陪伴我，可他總是忙于工作。當(dāng)我的期待總是落空時，抱怨自然就會隨之而來。</p><p>　　那么，期待又是來自哪里呢？顯然，期待來自于愛。</p><p>　　相信那些正在抱怨的人，也是因?yàn)閻圩约旱陌閭H，才會愿意花費(fèi)氣力去抱怨。有句話這么說：“愛的反面不是恨，而是沒有感覺。”人們不會去抱怨一個與自己沒有任何關(guān)系的人，人只有對親密的人才會有期待。</p><p>　　生活是瑣碎而冗長的，兩個不同的人共同生活，有太多東西需要調(diào)和。所以“抱怨”這個東西可能不會短時間內(nèi)徹底消失，但期待與愛卻會永存。</p> 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